Love Like Cyanide - ch 19
alpha idol paranormal romance
Chapter 19: Natalie
As I rinse the dishes and toss them into the dishwasher, occasionally having to scrub a bit, I can just barely hear Valentine and Dante over the running water. The way it muffles everything, muting the noise in my brain with pleasant static, comforts and calms me down. You could have peeled me off the ceiling a few hours ago, and now the two alphas are teasing each other and kissing at my kitchen table. I’d been ready to help the survivor bury the one who didn’t make it, but now they’re practically playing footsies.
…Men, am I right?
Finished with my task, I shut off the water and toss a soap pod into the dishwasher, setting it to run. I turn to them, leaning back against the sink and just watching them for a few minutes. They carry on like I’m not even there, as if nothing in the world exists aside from the two of them. It’s almost enough to make me feel a stinging stab of jealousy, but in side profile like this, I know I’ve seen that same look on each of their faces before. Except it was aimed at me.
I fold my arms across my stomach and loudly clear my throat, finally capturing their attention. Seeing Valentine’s eyes back to their soft, warm earthy brown is the biggest assurance of a return to normalcy that I’ve had in days. I open my mouth to say something, and the washing machine interrupts me with its weird little digitized song of completion. I roll my eyes.
“Hold that thought,” I say with a sigh, going over to throw all the damp laundry into the dryer. Linens tumbling, I sink into the chair across from them, stifling a yawn with the back of my hand.
“So… a lot of things have happened. And I have questions.” They both nod, their fingers intertwined atop the table with Dante’s thumb ticking back and forth over Valentine’s skin.
I exhale heavily, taking a sip of coffee. Coffee I know I finished. But this cup is fresh and warm, and sweetened to my taste. The only thing I prefer to be blond is my coffee. “Thank you,” I murmur to both of them, not sure when they managed to get me a refill or which one of them did it.
The warmth soaks into my palms through the ceramic, penetrating my soul at the same time. “Before we even get into whatever this,” I gesture vaguely to the three of us, “is… I’ve got some other questions about when you two were trying to kill each other.” I take another swill of the coffee, and Valentine nods to me, a sad little smile on his lips.
“What’s the deal with the ‘prince’ thing, firstly?”
Dante snickers, and Val casts him a sideways glance. “Didn’t you know, Doc? Dante isn’t just a regular alpha, he’s reptile royalty.”
I almost choke on my coffee, laughing at the confession. When they don’t laugh, I clear my throat. “You’re serious.”
“You don’t know much about Mord society, Nat. But, yeah. Dante’s the heir to the reptile throne. And he likes to rub that in my face at every opportunity.”
“Mord society?” That’s a weird phrase I’ve never heard before.
“Sorry. Mord is short for ‘Primordial’. Anyone with A.B.O. traits is considered a genetic throwback. Or rather, an ancient and superior version of what humans have become.”
I frown a bit. “I take it that’s not something said outside of the presence of other Mords.”
Dante snorts, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. “We know better. The last thing we need is to bring back the days when normal humans hunted us like the animals we share traits with.”
“Hunted us and were celebrated for killing monsters,” Valentine murmurs, his eyes hazy as he stares off at atrocities no longer in front of him.
“You mentioned reptiles. I’m assuming you’re not in that same category.” I address Val directly and he nods, slipping into leader mode with the confidence of a teacher.
“There are four primary classifications for Primordials. Reptiles, mammals, avians, and nauticals. The way the genes present isn’t always the same sort of animal each time, but family lines tend to stick within one of those four categories. My family has always been mammals, as far back as we can trace. I’m mostly wolf, but my younger brother is more feline. He hasn’t ever fully shifted, but we think he’s probably most like a lynx.”
I silently consult my coffee, letting that all sink in. “But you’ve fully changed forms. Both of you.”
“Yeah.” Dante tips his head side to side, his neck popping loudly. “Takes a lot of resources to do it, though.”
“And it hurts like a bitch,” Valentine agrees. “But there’s a sort of… half-beast form that’s easier to slip into and out of. It doesn’t burn as much juice, either.”
“Resources? You mean food, right?” They nod in response. “And shifting isn’t illegal, or anything? With suppressant patches and all that being required for the rest of us, outside of your industry, you’d think they’d really crack down on something like that.”
Dante shakes his head. “Non-mords don’t know that we can still shapeshift. Not all of us can, but if they knew ANY of us are capable… Slayers would come back into fashion, and none of us would be safe. We can’t afford a war with the humans. We’d lose based on sheer numbers alone. Because of that, within Mord society, we’ve got some guidelines for the safety of everyone.”
“And your eyes glowing out of nowhere probably break those guidelines,” I add, glancing between both of them.
They exchange a sheepish look, glancing down and away for the barest of seconds. “It doesn’t normally happen. There are safe places we can kind of cut loose and not be so rigid about it all, but occasionally… loss of control makes the mask slip.”
The fact that I was able to get both of them so worked up that they lit up a room with their eyeballs is an ego boost I allow myself to mentally revel in. A girl’s gotta take the wins wherever she can get them. But I do my best to not look like the cat who just devoured the cream. And probably fail. Miserably.
“And the last thing we need is to go beast-mode around regular humans. Ever. We’ve been able to pass it off as special effects contacts on stage before, but in any other setting? Game over. No respawn.” Valentine shakes his head, shuddering at the thought of the backlash if their secret was found out.
They’ve had to hide so much. Valentine not letting his bisexuality be public knowledge. Dante concealing that he’s literally royalty. And here I am, just discovering that I’m not the omega I’d been raised to believe I was. Nothing’s really changed for me, other than needing higher octane suppressants when I’m out and about. But if their secrets ventured into the light of day… Everything they worked so hard to build will be torn down.
I remember, before I worked with Inferno and their company, the ridiculous backlash Dante had faced when he didn’t deny his romantic inclinations towards both men and women. An ex-boyfriend of his, angry at the group’s success early on, wanted to sabotage everything. To add insult to injury, he leaked photos that made Dante’s prior involvement with him undeniable.
The company had put him on hiatus from performances, and all media appearances. And the rest of the group had refused to do any media spots, even video chat interviews, until Dante was back by their side. Inferno wasn’t Inferno without all seven of their sins. They were ready to break their contract and disband, if it came to that. Their dedication was admirable.
The stubbornness of the other six alphas led to a return to normalcy quicker than anyone in the fandom anticipated. No small feat when photos of the group’s main dancer with his lips wrapped around someone’s cock were blown up all over the internet, but the company wasn’t willing to give up their biggest cash cow.
Valentine’s hand settles on my arm, and I startle slightly from the contact. I was staring off into space, lost in my thoughts. He gives me a warm smile that melts my heart, his voice soft as he asks: “Where did you run off to, Nat?”
I shrug, glancing at Dante. “Just thinking about what’s at stake for you all. And remembering when the company tried to soft-kick Dante out of the group.” I meet Val’s gaze directly. “After that PR nightmare went down with him, why didn’t you piggyback off of that and just come out of the halfway closet? Wouldn’t that be easier than always having to hide who you are?”
Valentine smirks. “Just because something is easier, that doesn’t mean it’s the right way, Natalie. Doesn’t make it the best way. I could be open about things tomorrow, if I wanted to. But to be honest, I don’t want to.
“We are bombarded with so much negative shit everywhere. Online, on TV, in social media. About the group in general, our music, how we cut our fucking hair. Or don’t cut it. I don’t need one more thing for those assholes to talk about. They make up enough shit on their own, so let them speculate to their silly little hearts’ content.”
He sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face, brows furrowing with agitation. “We’ve got cameras on us all the damned time. Who I’m fucking is none of their business, the press or the fans, no matter how entitled to that information they think they might be. I deserve to have one thing in this god-forsaken world just be mine.”
Val says the last line with such conviction that the three of us sit silently for a moment. A moment broken by tactless Dante taking a particularly loud slurp of his own coffee. “And besides, Nat… We know you’re a shipper, so you must have seen your fair share of fanfics out there in the wilds of the internet.”
Ignoring the heat that creeps into my cheeks, my grip on the sadly empty mug in my hands tightens. “I told you I’m not a shipper, Dante. And besides… fanfiction is more about your stage personas than you all as actual people. From my perspective, at least. Since there are differences between who you are up there, and who you are right in front of me.”
I fix Dante with a pointed stare. “I never would have expected the fuckboi you act like when you’re under the lights to be such a marshmallow, especially when it comes to kisses and cuddles.”
He narrows emerald green eyes at me that glitter with an edge that I know better than to lean too hard against, but I’m going to push just a bit, even if it stings. “And as fun as all those silly little fanfics may be, they pale in comparison to the real deal. Nothing on AO3 could top whatever the hell this is.” I gesture with my hand to include all three of us.
Author’s Notes: Hey, darqlings! Wanted to give you all a little update on the sitch with this story! …I’ve gone back to the beginning and started revisions because there are things that need to be added in to help me get to a cleaner, better wrapup of the book. I’ve got one more chapter finished to post after this one, and by the time that goes up, I hope to be back to new content in the draft.
(Yay, draft 1.5?) So you likely won’t even see any interruption in chapters being posted, but after chapter 20, things will be in PAST tense (I’m switching the whole thing. I can’t with 1st person present… Drives me insane. Personal preference.)
I’m aiming for publishing this baby in September, so if you’re here and reading, drop me a comment or a like so I know it’s not just cobwebs up in here! Thank you, and I hope you enjoy seeing this come to life!
~Miranda K. Darq
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