Love Like Cyanide-chapter 8
Alpha Idol Paranormal Romance
Chapter 8: Valentine
It’s been a month since I nearly had her. That tease of a taste, the barest brushing of the warmth of her lips against mine wasn’t enough. She’s been guarded as hell since that day, and all I can think about is finding the right bulldozer to topple those walls she’s built into nothing but rubble.
And now, knowing for certain that she’s not an omega, or even a beta… It only makes me crave her more. The only thing that soured that moment was his scent all over her. She’d always been the epitome of strictly professional before, despite my flirting with her, so Dante must have taken advantage of the fact that she was in heat. Not in a total non-con kind of way, because she would have put him down, but he definitely had an edge of knowledge that she didn’t.
Lucky fucking pretty boy.
There was no sign that they’d been together since, but the lingering floral aroma of roses that floated throughout the cinnamon and sugar sweetness that Natalie always had told me all I needed to know. Dante marked her. Claimed her. And she was completely clueless about it.
It doesn’t make a damned bit of sense. Being around her makes me salivate, itching to roll her skin between my teeth until that perfect petite body of hers is thrashing beneath mine. Mine. Not his. There is no doubt in my mind that Natalie was meant to be my mate, not his. An alpha’s bond to their mate is instinctual, regardless of their ranking.
Dante likes to talk shit about the “fated mates” thing on the regular. It’s something he and Ryker use as an excuse for staying alone. So, is it possible that…? No. No way.
But… with how much the numbers of people born with a dominant A.B.O. gene have dwindled over the years, is it possible that we’re being hardwired to share limited resources? I cringe at the thought of reducing another human to nothing more than an asset to be obtained and exploited for what they can do for me.
And yet, I often lose myself in the ideas of exactly what Natalie could do for me. The release and relief her body could give me. The fact that I’ve managed to resist for this long feels like a miracle, and like I’m stretching out the last vestiges of my already thin patience.
“You good, Val?” Her voice drags me from my brooding. How I managed to totally zone out with her hands on me, with her close enough to reach out and bite, is a mystery.
Thankfully, she can’t see me wince because I’m face down, but I definitely do as her elbow buried in my thigh sends a sharp shock through the thick muscles of my hamstring.
“Yeah. All good,” I respond, exhaling heavily.
“You got really quiet for a bit. Had me worried I’d broken you, or something.” There’s laughter in her tone, and she doesn’t seem to realize that she’s playing with fire.
Unlike the quick, focused spot massages we receive before and after shows, this is a dedicated hour just to get everything back to optimal operations. She didn’t have all of us for this long in one day, but she tended to split the seven members over two days, and I’m her last one of the evening.
“You couldn’t break me if you tried, Doc.” I snark back at her.
She shuffles a few things and has me move down and roll over on to my back, everything properly concealed beneath the sheet. The only barrier between us. She gives me a few seconds of pointed eye contact before getting back to it. “Permanently? Hell, no. But I could do some damage, if I had to.”
“I don’t doubt that. But I’ll never give you a reason to, Natalie. And if I did, I hope you’d do the world a favor and kill me.”
My eyes are comfortably closed, but I feel her hands pause, wrapped as far around my calf as her little fingers can manage. “That’s a bold statement,” she says finally, her voice quieter than I expect.
“Any man who would harm a woman, or make her feel unsafe, deserves nothing less than death. Women nurture, men protect. That’s how it’s meant to be.”
She sighs, and I fight not to tense up as she buries a knuckle into a knot in my quad. “Man, this right thigh is just all kinds of fucked up today. You need to take a day off lifting and just do some stretches. Maybe add a yoga class into your routine, ya know?”
She moves on to the other leg, not waiting for a reply. "You're right, but it's a shame so many people don't see it that way. We've had to learn to protect ourselves, because men don't feel like our safety is their concern, so the nurturing has fallen by the wayside."
"People suck," I offer, wondering how my body can be so relaxed when my mind is racing.
"You're certainly not wrong," Natalie says with a laugh.
She finally moves on from my legs, now that they feel like smooth mashed potatoes. Gotta hand it to the girl, she certainly knows what she's doing. If you could earn a gold star for job performance, Nat would be out here winning a pizza party for the whole class.
I keep my eyes closed, feeling like it would be creepy to have a client just staring at me or at the ceiling. I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I tense up a bit as she folds the sheet down, and her warm hands settle on my shoulders. If she notices, she doesn't say anything about it. A total professional.
As admirable as that is, I find myself wishing that I could get her to compromise her morals just a little bit. But I can't push for that, even if I knew with absolute certainty that she wanted me. I settle my arms on top of the sheet, feeling unpleasantly confined with them tucked underneath.
The woman is just trying to do her job, after all. It's not her fault that being this close to her has me wondering if she tastes as sweet as she smells. Even with Dante's pervasive rose petal aroma mingled with her much tastier breakfast pastry scent, my mouth is all the better to eat her with.
It would be inappropriate to make an advance on her while naked under a sheet as she's fixing the knots in my muscles. She did say to disrobe to my level of comfort, though... However, if I could have a little time with her in a less professional setting, I'd stand a better chance. I do want her. There is no denying that. But I want all of her, not just her body. I crave her the way a drowning man longs for a fresh lungful of air. Not having her, in any way I wish, is physically painful.
She slides her fingers into my thick hair, the sensation of the pads of her fingers on my scalp so heavenly that I barely manage to bite back a moan. Thankfully, the only sound that escapes me is a content sigh.
Natalie laughs at my pleasure, and I can’t help but smile along with her.
“Yeah, we never realize how much tension we’re holding in our scalp. Sometimes, you just need somebody to rub your head for you, and you don’t know how bad you needed it until someone’s finally doing it.”
Her fingers pause and she snickers, clearing her throat. “Sorry,” she murmurs under her breath, fighting not to giggle. Natalie presses her palms to my temples, tension I didn’t even know existed fading in the wake of her expert touch.
“Nothing to apologize for, Nat. We are both grown-ups, here.”
She sighs and I can tell from the sound that she wants to relax a little. Humor seems to have made a chink in her armor, and all I have to do is wait for her to take the rest of it off on her own. With a little nudge, that is. Can’t make her do all the work.
I let one eye slide open and look up at her as she cradles my skull in her hands, pale blue eyes meeting my gaze. I want to watch those pretty eyes roll back in her head more than anything, in that moment. Somehow, I valiantly suppress the urge. …All in good time.
“And besides… you’ve been around backstage enough. If you think I’ve never heard a thinly veiled dick joke, you’re sorely mistaken, ma’am.” She laughs and I close my eyes again as her fingers glide over the back of my neck.
“Like any of you guys try to veil anything, Val. Let’s be real. You’re all lucky I’ve signed an NDA, with some of the things I’ve seen.”
“Honestly, that’s fair.” I reply with a little chuckle of my own. I exhale heavily as a knot melts under her fingers and sensation floods to my fingertips. “Fuck, how do you do that?” I half groan.
“Magic,” she replies, not missing a beat or trying to hide her smugness that leaks into her voice.
Sadly, her hands leave my body and she gets to her feet. I feel her hand hover above my face for a moment, a tingle of warmth from the nearness crawling along my skin and seeping into my bones.
“That’ll be the end of our session for today, Val. I’ll meet you over yonder when you’re ready.”
“Fine,” I say with a little pout, waiting for her footsteps to move past the privacy screen, and the water to start running as she washes her hands, before I sit up.
The sheet falls to pool at my waist and I rake fingers through my hair, my entire body feeling warm and relaxed. It’s been months since I’ve felt this whole and connected. Touring is stressful, but a necessary part of the process. And once we’re done with that in a few months, we’ll be fully back in the studio while doing interviews and appearances galore. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I’m thankful for our success as a group, but the wear it has on a body and mind is truly endless. Any relief is welcome, like the way my shoulders and neck pop as I stretch my arms above my head. I want to just stay on the table and take a nap, but I’m her last appointment for the day and don’t want to keep her here longer than necessary. Begrudgingly, I drag myself to my feet and pull on my clothes. Thankfully, I have slides to throw on instead of having to stoop to tie shoes.
I shuffle to the other side of the barrier, taking advantage of the opportunity to shamelessly admire the shape of Natalie’s body from behind as she rearranges some things on a shelf above her head. She’s on a small step stool and standing on her toes to reach higher than she probably should be.
The narrow taper of her waist and generous curves of her ass mean nothing as I watch the stool suddenly slide back away from the counter. A little squeak of surprise falls from her lips, and I’m across the room before she’s even fully lost her balance. It feels like everything moves in slow motion, and I’ve caught her around the waist as her body crashes into my chest.
My heart’s racing, but she’s so tiny that it’s not even a struggle to hold her weight. She is a solid little thing, though. Her feet dangle above the floor. I’m sure she can feel my heart pounding against her back, her breathing heavy and pushing her body more fully into mine. Neither of us move for a few seconds that stretch on for hours.
Before I do something irreversible, I turn her around and set her on the counter beside the sink. Looking down into her eyes from inches away, the sudden spike of adrenaline making both of us a bit unhinged, I know now that I could make a move and she wouldn’t stop me. I could cup her cheek and devour her from the mouth down, and Natalie wouldn’t speak aside from breathlessly asking me for more.
But I can do better than that.
“So…” She tilts her chin to look up at me more fully as I speak, and I almost throw in the towel. “Since I’m your last one for today, have any plans for dinner?”
She blinks. Slowly. Twice. Inhales deeply through her nose like she’s awakening from a dream. I watch the fog clear from her vision and she gives her head a little shake. Her eyes shift to the side and she shrugs, the color in her cheeks impossible to hide as she scrunches up her nose. “Probably just grab some takeout, like I always do. We haven’t been home in months, so I figure I need to check on my apartment. I don’t have anyone who can keep an eye on it, and my landlord is… Well. A landlord.” She chuffs derisively.
My god, she’s fucking precious. I give her a disarming smile, and watch the tension leave her shoulders. That’s right. Nothing to see here. No wolf. Just a fluffy sheep, honey.
“You’ve been gone for months. A few more hours won’t make the dust any worse.”
I watch her pupils widen, which she tries to mask with a snarky little grin. “If I knew all it would take to get you to ask me out for dinner was to be a clumsy bitch, I could have been tripping around you way more often.”
I can’t help smirking at her. “This does make incident number two, you know. If it was super common, I would have picked up on your scheme and foiled your plans.” She rolls those pretty blue eyes in response. “But seriously. Dinner, Nat. You’ve been busting your ass fixing us all day long. Somewhere chill and casual. My treat.”
Nudge.
Her eyes roam over my face, searching for something. Suspicious. Finding nothing, she finally nods with a sigh. “Fine. But don’t expect me to just have a salad. I need carbs and protein.”
I click my tongue, stepping back and offering her a hand so she can hop down safely from the counter. “If all you ordered was a salad, I’d get a bigger plate to share. And besides, I love a woman who’s not afraid to eat some meat.”
The most infectious, carefree laughter I’ve ever heard bubbles from her lips. And there it is. The shattering of those defenses.
“You gonna drive, too?” she asks, the easy smile staying on her face as she grabs her bag and locks the door to her office on our way out.
I shrug, rifling through the pocket of my jeans. I drag out a small jingling bundle of keys. “I can make that happen.”
She nods. “You’ve always struck me as the type of guy who gets his way, Val.”
Oh, honey… You have no idea.