Chapter 22: Natalie
Another day or two had passed. If it weren’t for my phone telling me the date and time, I would have been completely and utterly lost in the drift of infinity. There were moments of clarity, but the more Dante, Valentine, and I fell together… The more the edges of reality began to blend and blur into something else. A waking dream of tangled limbs, tight grips, and teasing caresses.
We collectively decided to stop bothering with clothes, as long as we weren’t going to be leaving the house. In hindsight, I wasn’t sure if that had been a good plan or the most horrible plan in existence.
I almost felt bad for the person who was delivering our groceries on the daily. After the last time I’d answered the door in my robe, not realizing that Dante and Valentine were visible in the background — in the most compromising of positions, I might add — I’d begun enforcing that the couch was not for any “activities” until well after delivery time had passed. The poor guy had turned as red as a tomato as he handed me the bags, and all I could do was roll my eyes at the antics of my insatiable mates.
Valentine, of course, was mortified. He’d insisted on leaving a much larger tip for the man, after that. Since he’d had to climb all of those stairs every day for the past few days, I agreed that his effort was worth the extra money.
I glanced at my phone, cementing myself in reality while I had the chance. It was Saturday. That meant all three of us would be reporting back to work on Monday morning. Which also meant that I needed to kick them the fuck out tomorrow morning, so I could take a day to get my brain back in the right headspace.
To be honest, I’d been praying to whatever deities may listen to me that the ultra-strength suppressant patches were going to make being around them tolerable. Like Dante had said, when it came to Mord physiology, there was little to no scientific documentation. Being royalty, his education in that regard went a bit deeper than Valentine’s did, but he’d still never heard of a mating bond between two alphas, much less three. We dove headfirst and blind into completely uncharted waters, and I think it made all of us a little bit nervous.
Me, especially. Something felt off, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It was this weird sensation in the pit of my stomach, and it only grew and intensified the more the three of us slept together. We were still very much our own people, but our triad felt like it was becoming something… Other.
I noticed it the most after the last time Dante and I had fucked. His thigh had looked particularly tasty, and sometimes a girl just needed to give in to those primal urges. I could feel him more strongly, after that. If I focused, I could hear his heart beating. Just like I could with Valentine. It wasn’t a loud, constant, distracting thing. But whenever I wanted to tune into them and remind myself that they were there, all it took was a few seconds of my time. It was reassuring, but also strange.
Between the three of us, the only one who didn’t have two bites was Dante. I tried my best not to fixate on it, because instinctual things would happen whenever the hell the instincts kicked in. But with how jilted Dante had felt by Valentine before, I hoped it wouldn’t become a problem.
I had never been particularly deep into any metaphysical practices, but after receiving an alpha’s claiming bite twice, it was always followed by this swelling, simmering heat in my belly. I hadn’t asked the guys about it, but I assumed it felt similar for them. The three of us were covered in love bites, bruises, and scratches in various stages of healing. But a claiming bite felt different, even after the mark had physically faded.
It was early Saturday morning, before six, and I found myself wondering why I was awake so damned early. Not just why, but how. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the three of us had been intertwined practically nonstop since Dante had arrived. Even with enforcing periods of “hands off” time, I felt like I’d participated in a triathlon daily for the past few days. If I’d been able to get pregnant, there would have been no saving me from that eventuality.
As I tiptoed to the kitchen, leaving the two of them passed out in a tangled mass of pale limbs and dark hair, I couldn’t help feeling guilty about that. How could I be sterile and have not just one mate, but two? One of which was actually fucking royalty? However the hell that worked. I knew I had no control over that aspect of things, but shouldn’t a prince be seeking someone who could produce an heir for his bloodline?
Dante had mentioned having older sisters, but were they excluded from taking the throne because he was a male? If that was the case, that was even shittier. There were so many things about “Mord” society that I didn’t really understand. But I had a feeling I’d be getting a crash course in all of it, soon enough.
With the boys enjoying some much needed rest, I took the opportunity to leisurely enjoy the last two chocolate doughnuts that sat in the box on the kitchen table. Not wanting the sound of the coffee maker to wake them up, I poured myself a mug of the remaining sludgy dregs of coffee that sat in the carafe. I drank it cold, black, sipping it quietly as I watched the sunrise through the small kitchen window.
The light chased away the dark, black shifting to navy and further morphing into a bright splash of colors that made the morning sky look as if it had been set ablaze. It was beautiful. Having that moment, just me and the sun, made me realize how unrelentingly busy my life had become in the past year. I never had time for things like this, anymore. Small, beautiful things that brought color into my life. Little enjoyments that reminded me why life was worth living.
“Thank you,” I murmured as I gazed at it, hoping that same beauty I witnessed brought comfort and gave hope to someone else who needed it, as well. Wherever in the world they may have been.
With coffee and a light breakfast both ingested, a quick wake-up shower was in order. I peeked back through the open doorway to my bedroom, taking a second to drink in the sight of the two massive alphas sprawled across my bed, and each other. Dante’s full lips parted as he breathed deeply, Valentine’s hand resting atop the other’s thigh as if not touching him was painful, even while sleeping.
They seemed to have worked through a lot of the hurt feelings Dante had been harboring for close to a decade, and I was glad for that. Otherwise… they were so adorable together, it was almost sickening. I’d say I was jealous, but I knew I looked just as grossly infatuated when I was focused on either of them. Both of them.
The past few days had been a rollercoaster. I was trying not to worry about how we were going to adapt to being back at work. And this was easily the longest stretch of my adult life that I hadn’t had any suppressants quelling my Mord system. Maybe that was why my stomach felt all tingly and weird inside.
Debating on just showering in the dark, I finally clicked on the light and headed into the bathroom. I turned on the water in the shower, letting it run for a minute to warm up before I climbed in. I sighed contentedly, the temperature at that perfect Goldilocks zone of warm, but not quite hot. Just right.
Being in the water had always felt healing, to me. Comforting, calming. Didn’t matter if it was the shower, a bath, swimming in a pool, jumping in a lake. If it was water and I was in it, I felt safe and complete. No matter how large the body of water was, I’d never felt worried or outclassed by the vastness of it. But to be honest, my adoptive parents hadn’t let me swim in natural bodies of water very often. We tended to stick to pools, despite being maybe an hour’s drive from the ocean.
I dragged my fingers slowly through my hair, separating a few little tangles as the water weighed it down. I’d always wanted really long hair but couldn’t be bothered with the upkeep. It was the longest it had been in a while, about halfway down my arms when I pulled it forward over my shoulders. I tended to keep it braided and out of the way for work, so I rarely had a reason to wear it down and get to enjoy it. I lived in athletic leggings and tank tops for work, and I was at work most of the time. As much as I envied stylish, fashionable women who could simply exist and look beautiful… that was outside of my budget and the realm of practicality.
Shit. Did I even own a pair of high heels, anymore? If I did, they were dusty as hell and buried at the back of the closet.
I worked some conditioner through the ends of my hair as I let my mind wander, glad I’d left my phone in the other room so I could just enjoy the water without worrying about rushing. Some of the places my mind ran off to were pleasant. Some were utterly foolish. And I mostly avoided the negative, scary thoughts.
…Mostly.
I knew I’d been in there for a while, so I rinsed off and shut off the water, a bit sad that I hadn’t stayed in long enough for it to start to lose its heat. I reached for my towel and winced, my fingers stopping just short of it as a lance of pain spiked through my head.
“What the fuck?” I murmured, closing my eyes and taking a slow, deep inhale. If this was a migraine coming on, it had piss-poor timing. And was abnormal. I hadn’t had a bad headache since I was a kid. Since before my first heat cycle.
There was a ringing in my ears that started out dull and low, gradually rising in pitch to a whine so shrill I half expected my eardrums to burst. I opened my eyes for a split second and was rewarded with another sudden stabbing sensation, so I immediately squeezed them closed again. The pain was still there, but more tolerable with my eyes closed.
Just a little headache. No big deal. Don’t be a pussy, Natalie.
Until I suddenly couldn’t draw a full breath, anymore. Anxiety attack? I’d never had one before. My chest felt tight, constricted, almost like something was squeezing my lungs shut. It burned, and there were sparks in my vision, even behind my closed eyelids.
I did the only thing I could think of and sank to my knees, so I wouldn’t fall over and get more injured, and called loudly: “Guys? Help!”
They came barreling into the bathroom almost immediately. The extra light from the living room lanced through my eyelids and the pain intensified so much that it made me sob.
“Nat? What the hell’s happening?” Valentine’s voice was the most panicked I’d ever heard him, and that wasn’t making anything better.
“I don’t know! I can’t… I can’t breathe! And my eyes hurt! Turn off the fucking light and close the door! Please…” I gasped vainly, trying to inhale and feeling like my ribs had collapsed and squashed my lungs into pancakes.
One of them flipped the switch and someone slid the shower curtain aside. There was no window in the bathroom, so it was as close to true abyssal darkness as you could get. I saw twin spots of amber and emerald green, and while they were soothing… I still couldn’t properly breathe.
“Oh, shit.” Dante said eloquently, calm as a bomb. “Nat, I’m gonna plug the tub and turn the water back on, ok? Just relax. You’ll be fine in a few minutes. We’re here with you.” His words were measured, calm, and that helped.
I sniffed and nodded, realized they probably couldn’t see the movement and said softly, “Alright.”
Valentine’s hand found mine and I squeezed it hard as the lukewarm water filled the tub. Dante was murmuring under his breath, encouraging the water to run faster. “Come on, come on…”
He sighed finally, shutting it off so it wouldn’t overflow. “Another reason to get you the fuck out of here, Nat. You’re gonna need a bigger tub, after this. Just lay back and relax.”
I did, and I could suddenly breathe again once I was up to my neck in the water. The ringing faded to background noise, and my heartbeat slowed down to closer to normal. Dante brushed my wet hair back away from my forehead and I tilted my head side to side, relieving some of the remaining tension in my neck.
The three of us sat in silence for a few minutes, aside from the gentle lapping movement of the water I was submerged in. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I felt like death warmed over.
Dante’s eyes swept over me in the darkness and I saw him nod. “There’s no really gentle way to break this to you, Doc… But know that you’re not hurt, and it’ll be ok. But what you’re about to see is probably going to freak you the fuck out. You’re okay, and we’ve got you.”
“Dante, you’re scaring me.”
“You’re not the only one, hun. So… take a deep breath, lift your arm up, and look down at your side.”
“Um… okay.”
I did as he asked, and almost screamed again. I moved a hesitant, shaky hand under the water to confirm what I was seeing. Over my ribs, there were flaps of skin that were moving slightly beneath the water. Gills… Did I have fucking gills?!
My eyes sought Dante and he gave me a soft smile. “Yeah. So… Nat. You’re a fucking shark, Doc. Your eyes hurt because they’ve gone totally black, all the better to see at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.”
“But sharks are exceptionally rare. Like… hunted almost to extinction level rare.” Dante smacked Val upside the back of the head. “Sorry,” he murmured.
I went from shock to exhaustion so fast it made my head spin. I let my head drop back gently against the side of the tub. “Why the hell is this happening now?”
Dante pointed an accusatory thumb at Valentine. “Because this guy just sealed our weird alpha triad by marking me. And you haven’t been wearing any suppressants for five days. It’ll fade in a little bit, but… Until we can take some proper time to help teach you how to control it, we’re going to have to hope and pray those patches can keep you from going Jaws at an inopportune time.”
“Is this the partial shifting you guys were talking about?” My voice was strangely stable. My mind was trying to panic, but the comforting cocoon of water around me was resetting my nervous system.
“Yeah,” Valentine agreed, pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles. I was glad he didn’t offer more information. I honestly wasn’t sure my brain could handle trying to assimilate anything else, in that moment. There’d be a time for that, and now wasn’t it.
Then I had the most terrifying thought. Worse even than having gills and coal black eyes.
My eyes darted open in the darkness and I turned to look at my mates. “Hey, guys… Um… I don’t…” I sighed as they both quirked a brow at me stumbling over my words. “Fuck’s sake.” I cleared my throat and tried again. “I don’t smell like fish, do I?”
Dante bit his lip and turned his face to the side, Valentine covering his mouth at the same time. They tried to keep it together, but ultimately both of them guffawed and cackled for what felt like an eternity before dissolving into more reserved snickers.
“I’m serious, damn it!” I declared when they finally quieted down. I didn’t know I’d become a comedian.
Dante kissed my wrinkled forehead as I frowned. “Oh, Nat. My number one idiot who shall never relinquish her crown. No.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “You still smell like the most delicious cinnamon rolls I’ve ever put my mouth on, silly girl.”
I was tempted to bite a chunk out of his face, and wondered how much of that was him being an irritating prick, and how much of it was just shark brain doing what it do. But I let the urge pass, so that meant the human portion of my brain was firmly in control, gills notwithstanding.
I exhaled heavily. “That’s more of a relief than you probably realize, you know.” He leaned his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes for a second, a pleasant sensation of calm and warmth flowing from both of the alphas.
“But now, for the fun part.” I stretched my arms above my head, neck and shoulders crackling from the movement. “Teach me how to change back to normal, because this Little Mermaid schtick isn’t going to fly, out in public.”
“You’re right. It’s going to swim.” Dante snarked, earning a punch on the shoulder from me, and a giggle from Valentine.
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